Long-Distance Relationships while Studying Abroad

A great poet once said, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Factually, if you are willing to put tremendous effort into your relationship to grow through the distance, you already have a fondness most pass lives without. However, maintaining a long-distance relationship while studying abroad is no game. Day in and day out, both parties need to give themselves more to the relationship. Equally, important, they need to find or build an individuality outside it. It needs significant commitment, communication and sacrifice. More so, when one is brewing their morning coffee at the same time when the other is getting home after a long and exhausting day.

Navigating a new life while studying abroad is as challenging as exciting it is. International students have a lot of new on their plates. From the academic pressure to making friends, from indulging in the new culture to staying strongly connected with their own. It is a journey that has made lives for some. But it is also a journey that can separate lives. The distance in your relationship tests all aspects of their connection, and it will. While your partner will be happy for the opportunity you have or will as an international student, they will want them to not overshadow your relationship.

In this blog, we will help you realistically deal with the issues and pressure of a long-distance relationship while studying overseas.

Talk about it Before you Leave

It will be wise to understand your partner before you go. Discuss how you want it to work around factors like distance, time difference, education, work or social life. Particularly, talk through your expectations of each other. Planning is guessing. Hence, make sure to play several scenarios or at least take them into account before promising anything. While change is inevitable, it would be harsh on the other if you make promises that you cannot keep. Host an open conversation about your limits and set a guideline. Discuss your concerns and find what works for you two. Whenever possible, meet each other midway. How would you deal with it if you cannot talk for days? How would you manage insecurity? Or jealousy? Moreover, how would you manage conflicts when they arise? It is going to be a rollercoaster that only you two can save from going off the rails.

Blindfold Yourself

Oh, not literally. Unless that’s your thing. Think of the distance as a blindfold. Now, take the blindfold, wrap it around your eyes and let your partner guide you. It is that trust that will ensure that you don’t fall. Trust is an important factor in long-distance relationships. Factually, it is the foundation of any. When you are thousands of miles apart, it signifies that very blindfold. It will be difficult to spend months with it. But you have to trust their words. Remember, it is equally difficult for both of you. Learn to give the other time and space as they need it. Talk through your thoughts when you both can put up with the conversation.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.

Communication doesn’t mean being stuck to your Skype screen all day long while all other experiences pass you by. Well, you are in a relationship. You know how it is, don’t you? Spending quality time together isn’t about the hours spent, but the minutes embraced. As the distance may be physical, the longing is a result of them not being a part of your life. Don’t let it hinder your emotions. Communicate your thoughts, days and happenings with each other. You would be surprised how making the other feel indulged in your life resolves half of your issues. Maybe set a common time to talk? But be prepared to let it slide by if the other can’t make it. It is not like the time stood still.

Enjoy the Distance

It is not a problem if you don’t make it a problem, right? Being in a relationship must not chain you down. It is not healthy for you and, eventually, for them as well. As an international student, you must also enjoy the freedom and adventure that comes with studying abroad. That doesn’t mean you can eye that cute bartender or start picking all sorts of bad habits. At the same time, if you are the other half who stayed back home, don’t just sit on the sidelines. It is not going to do any good to either of you. Make things happen. Your boyfriend doesn’t like Mediterranean food? Take these months exploring the cuisine. Your girlfriend fears height? Join a trekking club or do those nasty adventures. Like cooking? Take a few classes a week. Make new friends or reconnect with the old ones.

Keep the Fire Burning

As a matter of fact, your conversations will shorten with time. And that is absolutely okay. At the same time, you can no longer hold hands, do those calming pillow talks or even take each other out on a date. But you can try to keep or rebuild the spark despite the distance. Send letters and postcards. Or courier them homemade food you know they miss. You can take them out for a drive on a video call. Perhaps, even arrange for a candlelight meal on one. If you are not the long paragraphs type on journals, send them voice notes or videos of things you liked or did. Further, explore applications to feel connected. Busy today? Show them that you think of them on Apple Love Nudge. Don’t have the energy for a conversation, watch movies and shows together on Rabbit. And when you can, plan to meet.

It is Okay to Fight!

You both are two different individuals. Trying to deal with your issues differently. You are bound to argue. Frankly, you both could use having one to talk about how frustrating it is. As the circumstances are nobody’s fault, nobody should be at the centre of these conversations. When they complain, it only means that they care. More often than not, they would have tried to deal with the issue on their own. But a relationship is teamwork, is it not? When one is down, the other must go on for both. Similarly, when one is vulnerable, the other must provide comfort and support. Be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings. The other may not be able to do anything about it either but it would sure bring you closer.

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